Empathetic Leadership & the End of Alpha

We lead people. The business gets served, but it’s people that are led.

It’s tough to respect the humanity of individuals and lead with empathy because people are complex and emotions are messy. The easier path is to equate empathy with weakness. Better to rule with a hammer and incite fear because understanding takes time. The unfortunate result of a consequence-based leadership is a culture of CYA and lack of ownership of outcomes. The better route is to create an environment that yields an emotional investment in the outcome. Your team cares about the work because you care about them.

This is the new way forward. The time of the Alpha is over.

We’ve seen the trend coming as Millennials entered and advanced in the workforce, but it’s broader than just that age range. There is a fundamental expectation of respect that's ground-swelled across organizations as team members recognize their role as being critical to organization's success. Georg Vielmetter, Regional Director of Leadership and Talent, spoke to the Washington Post about the Hay Group's recently published study “Leadership 2030”:

"The time of the alpha male — of the dominant, typically male leader who knows everything, who gives direction to everybody and sets the pace, whom everybody follows because this person is so smart and intelligent and clever — this time is over. We need a new kind of leader who focuses much more on relationships and understands that leadership is not about himself.

"Altrocentric means focusing on others. Such a leader doesn't put himself at the very center. He knows he needs to listen to other people. He knows he needs to be intellectually curious and emotionally open. He knows that he needs empathy to do the job, not just in order to be a good person."

The idea of being a good person has rarely found it’s priority in the boardroom, but the dynamics of the marketplace are changing. No leader has all the answers and the days of pretending that’s the case are over. Strength comes from diversity of thought.

An empathetic or altrocentric leadership style is especially critical when leading creative types because it’s critical to create an environment of freedom to explore. Nothing will kill creativity more than the threat of vilification of the hammer of money. An empathetic leader will own how their teams feel about the work and not just the long-term outcome of the work itself. An empathetic leader will establish clear values for the organization to serve as a foundation for when things get tough (because things will always get tough). An empathetic leader will put their people first and create a culture that thrives. This isn’t to say money doesn’t matter, but rather than your people matter more.

Don’t be that leader expecting their teams to sacrifice one of their own when something goes wrong. It’s sad to see what becomes of a once thriving culture in such an environment. Often, an employee’s error is the direct result of a leader not effectively outlining the work or providing adequate resources. Put yourself in your employee’s shoes. A good leader will share ownership of errors and outcomes that differ from the organization’s goals.

What could you have done differently as a leader to guarantee the result that the organization wanted? When providing coachable moments, start with what you could have done differently to help your employee succeed. Point out what they did well and then probe with questions as to what they thought they might do differently. The more self-aware employees get to where you’re going before you lead them there. The other employees answer your questions and remain on the surface. Probe more deeply and they answer a little deeper. You keep going further until the light comes on and nirvana shines on them. It’s a joy to see the growth occur. There is the reality however that not every employee gets there, so there’s that. The journey to enlightenment will be forever no matter how many questions, leading and otherwise, one asks.

Stay humble. Respect isn’t about ambition and definitely isn’t about fear. People will remember what you make them feel more than whatever you say. Be the leader that makes them feel vital and share what you have in common: your humanity.

Dan Dillon // D.Square Marketing & Hospitality // ddillon@d2hospitality.com